Ok… I swear. The world ends here in Ohio on the first day of snow. Its like everyone goes primitive and acts like… “What is this white stuff coming from the Heavens?” OH MY GOSH PEOPLE!!!! WATCH OUT!!!!!! ITS GOING TO KILL US ALL!!!!!!!!!!
So im driving to work, and im already late because I need to get Evan on the bus, and now his bus doesnt come till 7:55 am. I get behind this jeep and this lady goes a woppin 25mph on the speed side. Dont get me wrong… there was snow on the ground. Wind was blowing… BUT THERE WAS A SALT TRUCK IN FRONT OF US! Well… it was in front of us. It was actually going about 45mph my guess. So it was soon gone.
At first I thought the lady was hanging back from the salt truck. Understandable. But then… starts going 20mph. Ok… this is fun… I had time and felt so safe enough to grab my phone and actually make a Facebook status update with Siri for crying out loud. I could had fixed a 4 course dinner and would had still been able to pay attention to the road.
So to me… here in Ohio. The Mayans were on the money!
For those who have been living under a rock the past couple months… This is Grumpy Cat. This cat just may be the most famous LOLcat to have ever graced the Internet. His real name is Tardar Sauce. Spelled exactly like that and the owners call him Tard. Now you know why he is so grumpy.
This cat has everyone on the Internet saying just the grumpiest things as of late. Almost like the Old Man on the porch screaming at kids saying “Get off my lawn!” The reason I bring this up is as of late… I feel like I can relate to this LOLcat.
From the combination of my illness to being sick all the time and the types of sickness I’ve been getting has been getting worse has just been mounting up on me. The human part of me keeps asking God why? What purpose does any of this hold. Then the religious part of me is trying to explain it will be revealed not when I see fit but when my creator sees fit. Then the human part battles with that and that itself is taxing.
I keep thinking is it worth it for me to be not in pain but to be sick probably around 50% of the time vs. dealing with the pain and having an immune system again. These are things that literally keep me up at night. I’m 32 years old and right now my body feels double than that. So basically right now I have a bitter outlook on life.
Don’t get me wrong. This really truly only hits me when I get sick and my thoughts go running. I’m not clinically depressed. Not going to do anything stupid. It’s just something I think about when I get sick and it takes me forever to get better. When Saturday hits. It will be 3 weeks for me being sick. 3 weeks worth of pneumonia. 3 weeks I’ve been on antibiotics. And i was sick prior to leaving here for Disney for a couple weeks. Anyone should get depressed about this me specially when they are told nicely not to come to an event. That right there is a swift kick in the …
So yeah… Sooner or later I’m going to write again about fun stuff. Should be close with Christmas right around the corner and I’ll possibly have something to say about this “End of the World” bit on Friday. But till then… All I wanna do is…
Wow… Where do I even begin? Vacation was great. Had a real good time but late Thursday night I started feeling off. I mean like I’m gonna get a cold.
So Friday comes and I find out Jess left Evan with me. If it was just me… I’d stayed in and called it a day. But this was our last day in Disney and I didn’t want Evan to suffer for it. So I pushed it a lot harder than I probably should have that day.
Saturday hits and I can barely get up. No energy. Super tired. Just nothing. Ended up having to carry two carry ons instead of one. So that was extra weight I was dealing with. So get through the weekend and on Monday I find out I have pneumonia.
I have never had this in my life. Closest has been bronicitus which is what I thought I had. Let me tell you… If you haven’t had this… It’s horrible. At times I felt like I was choking on my own coughs. Coughing felt like shotgun shots to my sides. I’m spitting up the thickest yuck I’ve ever seen. I’ve had the Haitian flu before. That’s hell on you. To me… This is right there only different issues. Just to get up and use the bathroom I’d be out of breath. I haven’t slept in my own bed since Sunday night I believe. But I am going to attempt tonight.
This week in general has been a blur. All I could do is sit and watch tv. I’ve seen so many movies, TV shows, Punkin Chuckin. It got to the point where I’d be up till about 10-11am and I’d finally just pass out from exhaustion for a couple hours till my chest tells me it’s time to cough my brains out.
The biggest thing that’s killing me the most besides the lack of sleep is I’m getting super stir crazy. I need out real bad. I’m grateful I’m not bad enough to be in a hospital. But part of me wishes I was because maybe then they would be able to help like my coughing fits better. Idk.
I just hate the fact that I got back from vacation and I know after I’m done with this crap I’m going to need a vacation because of how badly I’ve become stir crazy. But it won’t happen. For now though. Gonna hope and pray for some sleep.